How I Overcame my Fear of Speaking in front of Authority and Started to Express Myself & Speak My Truth.

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Photo by Aleksandr Balandin on

Being Too Much is something I was accused of from a young age, so I grew up with a sense of internal guilt for upsetting others, second-guessing what I say to people, worried to be seen as foolish in front of “authority”. There was a lot of inner judgement, crippling anxiety, fear of being wrong. 

I remember 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 in my twenties: during a shamanic course the teacher strutted around and detailed his relationships with women and one “bitchy” supermodel! 😨🥵 In my heart, gut and head I knew this wasn’t what I signed up for, but I stayed out of “politeness”! 🙊 It got worse when I asked a question and was told “Why don’t you get it? Everyone else has got it?!” – I felt hit by a wave of shock, anger and overwhelm! I wanted to say that chatting about exes during class and putting students down was unacceptable! 🤬… but I couldn’t find clarity and courage… 

I left the course that day – angry and unexpressed but with a decision that I cannot allow my fear and self-judgement keep blocking who I am. 

The path of change from then on was gradual, but I now know that
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙙 – 𝙄 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙙. 

Below are The Key Points of Change that 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 & 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙨𝙖𝙮: 

1. 𝙄𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙧 𝘾𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙 𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙠: Our mental foundation is constructed in early childhood. When I got it, I could no longer be mean, nasty or angry with a part of my mind that was effectively a toddler! This brought on a lot of compassion, understanding and kindness into my inner world, helped resolve inner conflict and greatly sped up release of unhelpful feelings, beliefs and behaviours. It helps to start Inner Child work with somebody who can hold space for you and guide you, as it feels safer to connect, share and resolve trauma and hurt. 

2. 𝘼𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙊𝙪𝙧 𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨: Whatever I sense and feel (peaceful, sad, angry, etc.) is my interaction with life as a human. I was surprised to learn that I really judged my human experience, I was stuck resisting what I needed to live and learn. So I started releasing my attachments to feeling only “Good & Mighty” by reassuring myself that it’s safe to feel bad and that everybody feels how I do sometimes. 

3. 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙏𝙤𝙤 𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙨: When we resist how life feels to us, we hang on to “incomplete” experiences which block us from feeling something new. When I realised emotions were always passing experiences because one experience invariably follows another, I stopped being afraid to feel and allowed my feelings to naturally resolve, because it’s always a temporary “ride”! :) 

4. 𝙍𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝙃𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙮: Doing fake positivity doesn’t let us resolve anything, because we can’t deal with something that’s not real! Only when I learned to acknowledge and accept how I felt, was I able to allow fear, anxiety, worry to move through me and dissolve, thus freeing me from having these as my stuck, habitual feelings. 

5. 𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙍𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙏𝙤𝙤𝙡𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙔𝙤𝙪: I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t found teachers, healers, coaches who have resolved for themselves what I was dealing with into harmony and mastery! I got both the insight into what’s holding me back and got help resolving it.

I hope this has inspired you or gave you some insights! :) Feel free to comment below regarding which point resonated with you or surprised you the most!
If you’d like to know more about how I could help you shed insecurity, worry about others’ opinions and become more confident, secure and peaceful in who you are – book a Discovery Call HERE with me! :)

*Disclaimer: the informaiton in this and other posts on this website are my personal expereinces and they are not a replacement for psychological or medical advice or diagnosis.